Psalm 16- One A Week Psalm Project
One A Week Psalm Project
There is a freedom, or an abandonment, in drawing and scribbling that I am searching for that I don’t seem to be able to find just yet.
I love a lot of abstract art and there are artists who I look at a lot online that really intrigue me and always draw my attention and the drawings appear often to be nothing more than scribble and yet it holds such allure for me.
There are different things that abstract holds for me but I think one thing is that it is the freedom and abandonment that is visible in their mark making that so draws me in.
I wish to be like that, I wish to draw like that. I wish to live a bit more like that. But I also don’t. I prefer to be organized, to consider, and prepared. I am used to having to prepare for life and I do not like having to fly by the seat of my pants. Unless, of course, I am prepared in advance for having to fly by the seat of my pants and there are certain situations, within boundaries, where this is ok – because I can be prepared for that. But normally I dislike plans changing last minute without time to adjust or re-organise.
While there is a natural inclination this way, it has been highly influenced and developed by ill health. Spontaneity can be tricky when unwell and rather than carefree, feels overwhelming and out of control and dangerous.
But the kind of spontaneity in some abstract art looks like a freedom I don’t feel I have within myself. I have carefully defined boundaries. I think I am scared of making marks sometimes.
I did some drawing yesterday and today with pastel over the top of the pen and I don’t think it can take much more or it’ll become too thick, too much.
But it is interesting to see what colours work on top of black and to build up the texture and then scratch it out again.
I guess this is like faith – we build it up and sometimes layer it up with too much stuff and have to scratch some of it back again to find out what is really important.
And the scratches let others see what is underneath.