Psalm 4 - One A Week Psalm Project
One A Week Psalm Project
Be purposeful and unhurried.
The enemy of everything is rushing.
The salve for everything is loving-kindness.
Reflections on the verses
Verse 8 ‘I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.’ I both adore and struggle deeply with this.
Despite my health and my experience of insomnia, this is true for me; I have always been safe and while I haven’t always slept well, I have always slept, eventually.
But I struggle with this because it feels like a guarantee and yet lots of bad things happen to people of faith - they don’t sleep in peace or dwell in safety.
Am I able to come to this verse with the hope & prayer that my sleep will include physical safety, but also be satisfied believing that it ultimately refers to the safety of our true selves ending up with Christ, safe in eternal life with God?
That death, pain, and torture cannot separate us from our true selves in Christ and that this, eternal life with Christ, is our eternal safety?
Does that deny too much of this present reality?
Is it excusing the evil of this world or is being realistic?
Is this in reference to the ‘godly set apart for himself’ from verse 3?
Maybe in writing this Psalm David, was trying to convince himself that, despite what it can feel like, that God does hear us, always. And so because of this we shouldn’t rush to sin in our frustration of feeling like we are unheard but rather, wait & know that we are heard, believe it despite our feelings and wait for the Lord. That God will protect us, even if that ‘only’ means that God will protect us from loosing our true selves – our inner self – our integrated self of spirit, body, soul – and so keep us as God’s. For we are God’s.
I feel untethered this week. Which is a shame because this project is partly to help me feel more tethered to God.
The way in which I feel untethered is not as though I am floating away. I’ve often dreamt of flying and that is truly delightful. Rather it is more that the world around me feels untethered – like nothing adheres to the rules of gravity any more and instead float away and I can’t grab hold of everything, items slipping through my fingers and out of my hands.
This is this kind of untethered that I feel. It makes my mind work overtime as I try to work out how to pin down all the moving objects while still trying to live life normally. It is as though everything is just ever so out of balance, and I can’t quite keep up, and so I always feel a little unsteady.
It is this kind of untethered I feel when I lose my words, when I stumble over them, rush over them, say stupid things; when I try to ignore the things that have become too hard, or try to rush through them get them done no matter the result because they simply must just be done.
It’s unnerving & at these times I just want the world to be slow & still & quiet so that I can go around & gather up all my thoughts that are floating away and pin them all down on my board of thoughts, ideas & projects so I can return to them at a time when I feel less….untethered.
This week, I discovered I need to prepare even for the simple task of writing up the psalm- otherwise I make mistakes as I did 4 times in a row. Another lesson in focus.
Technically the writing up should be easy, but it doesn’t always mean it is straight forward, or that there aren’t things to be aware of – the spacing, the size of the lettering, the actual words of the psalm in the correct order & knowing what I expect & being prepared to allowing mess or mistakes if that’s what happens.
Also, having professed my dislike of using glue and realising I don’t have to use it, I’ve now chosen to use it 2 weeks in a row. Maybe it’s because it’s in a book that I don’t mind it & I’m not bothered by it because it’s not an artwork to be displayed in the way that others may be?
Holding my breath
You must still breath
when waiting for stillness.
Breath in God’s love
even if you don’t feel it
and breath out your fear.
wait while breathing.
Reflections on the Monday at the end of this week
Today will be a slow day.
I have come to a stop.
My body is tired, my brain is tired.
I struggled to wake up & I should have turned off the alarm & allowed myself to sleep in. And all this without having done anything particularly much the past few days; it just a reminder that the fibromyalgia still lives within my body and I must be careful – I must listen intently at every moment to it, and then, rather than ignoring what it tells me and wishing it was otherwise, act appropriately – even if that action is to do nothing.
Maybe I have been more tired all week as it doesn’t feel as though the psalm has been rolling around my head as much and it is more of a struggle to remember what this one is even about.
This week I’ve had quite a few thoughts unrelated to this project. They were perhaps able to enter my mind because of the quiet in the mornings so I could take notice of them. I’ve had a few work personal interactions that have played on my mind & a few larger concerns from the past couple of years that have suddenly, once again, been on my mind.